Day Three.

Only today, tomorrow, and the next day. Then i'll be in San Antonio for the weekend. Then the crying will return. I only cried once yesterday, but it was a good one. I came across this video, it is a cover of one of my favorite songs. By the 5th or 6th time of watching it, i finally stopped crying. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L64c5vT3NBw .
(i just saw that its also on the msn website!)

Today we are going to the mall with Monica, I don't really want to sit at home all day today. I don't really want to get dressed either though. Somethings gotta give, and its gonna be the getting dressed part. I will not be one of those women who always wear sweats and have their hair in a ponytail every single day. I mean, i DO wear sweats and various pajama pants everyday but usually not in public. At least i try not to.
Monica and I have been through hell and back together. Multiple times. We've been through everything from 2nd grade art projects, 8th grade graduation, the normal high school drama, being hit by a drunk driver, working together for a short time, our weddings, and now the next stage of our lives. Babies and deployments. She is always someone i can turn to and she will always listen, no matter what the subject is. I can honestly say I don't know what i would do without her.

Addison is down for her first nap right now, and so far this morning has gone well. She woke up and was in a good mood, that is always the best way to wake up - to baby smiles.
Last night was a little easier, but not by too much. It is still hard to fall asleep without him, and knowing that he won't be coming to bed soon. Nighttime is by far the hardest part of the day.

Well, our mall adventure went well. No baby meltdowns. She got to walk around in the bjorn for a while, she is starting to enjoy it. She's so nosey and likes to look around. Oh, but some lady called Addison huge, which quite frankly i think was rude. She is not huge. She's a chunker, yes, but huge? No. She fits in her 3 month size clothes, and she is 4 months old.
Now that i'm home, its time to get back to reality. I'm eating dinner right now, some leftover frozen chicken and rice gumbo type soup/stew. Whatever it is. Its the first time i've eaten more than a few bites since Sunday. Still haven't cried today either. Lets hope i can make it through the night. I won't hold my breath for that to happen though.

I feel a little silly writing about my day and what i've been up to, but I do think it helps me a little. Lets hope it keeps helping, as this year will get worse before it gets better.

BUT on a good note, i think i can confidently say i will be okay tonight. Maybe. I think. I hope. Wish me luck :)

She's so stinkin cute.